Family Discloses Fierce Strength Of Victims

Mennonite Central Committee
Saturday, 11 March 2000

WINNIPEG, Man. -- "Tell us about victims." "We want to hear about victims."

MCC has a long history of working with offenders in prison and facilitating mediation as an alternative to the courts. But the Victims' Voice program headed by Wilma Derksen is breaking new ground in the field of restorative justice.

On February 13 approximately 50 people from MCC-related restorative justice programs across Canada heard a victimized family -- a widow and her children -- speak of its experience.

The husband and father was murdered in Ontario, in 97. Shortly after the murder, the family returned to their former home on the prairies. The widow wanted desperately to know how her husband had been murdered. The only way to hear the autopsy report was to return to Ontario to attend the preliminary hearing.

She did not have money for the trip, and financial assistance of this sort is unavailable for victims, so she hitchhiked to Ontario. When she arrived at the courthouse, she was subpoenaed as a witness. This meant that she could not be present in the courtroom, except when she testified. If she had been issued the subpoena in Manitoba, the court would have paid the cost of her travel. When she asked about financial assistance, however, she was told that since she was already in Ontario, the court would not pay her travel.

While the group was shocked to hear that victims are treated so callously, they were even more disturbed to learn that, after the murder, she had to clean up the blood in the house. There were no services available for this kind of assistance.

The family's discussion of the experience was like a gathering around the kitchen table, hearing new things from one another --"I didn't know you thought that. When did that happen?"--with the restorative justice staff as privileged listeners.

The family members have responded in different ways to the murder. The twelve-year-old has become super-organized. She has also gained weight. "I eat my feelings," she said. The fifteen- year old has learned martial arts, joined the cadets and learned to shoot. "I'm the best shot in my class," she said. "When he comes to my door I'll be ready for him."

The married one finds it difficult to come to visit in the family home now. There are too many physical memories of the father there -- a favourite blanket, photos, a game. The eldest refuses to take off the necklace that he gave her, even in a workplace where no jewellery is allowed.

The siblings are afraid that the murderer, whom they know, will return once he's out of prison and that their lives will be in danger. When their mother talks about the possibility of going to meet with him in prison, the children become very defensive. "You haven't told us about that!" They are afraid for their mother and for each other.

She is trying to help them all get past their fear. They say, "He's not normal. He'll kill somebody else." She said, "I want to see where he's at, what's on his mind." The offender is eligible for parole in a few months. Suddenly one of the daughters said, "I want to go with you. I'll protect you."

In a final, vulnerable blessing to the group, two members of the family sang a song that gives them strength and courage--mother and teenage daughter, unaccompanied, sitting quietly side by side, low voices bringing tears to the last dry eye in the room.

Just as volunteers who visit offenders in prison may be surprised in the discovery that these "criminals" are weak and vulnerable people, so this family discloses the fierce strength of victims.

For more information, or to contact Mennonite Central Committee, see their website at: www.mcc.org